Starring: Tara Reid, Ian Ziering, and Cassie Scerbo
Released: Aired July 11, 2013 on SyFy
Hoot Raiting: This was a hell of a hoot to watch, but it does not actually fit any of my ratings. All I can say is, I had a fun time watching this and I wasn't even drunk. It is awful in just about every cinematic way (I will go into more detail below)...which made it an hilarious experience. I do not regret watching this movie. At all.
Summary sans Spoilers: Fin, played by Ian Ziering (he was on Dancing with the Stars once), tries to herd his family to safety as a hurricane floods the coast, bringing sharks to land. Ultimately, the hurricane-induced floods cause the SharkNados. Fin and his family, (and some tag-alongs) are forced to fight off the Sharknados as a retirement community watches from a safe distance.
The Critical Eye (Spoilers): The plot is...well, I guess it is high concept (that seems to be too generous of a comment). It is a SharkNado--even the poster says it: Enough Said. That is pretty much it. The subplot is Fin (Ian Ziering) trying to save his ex-wife (Tara Reid), and two grown up looking children (like really, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how old they are supposed to be based on their behavior...which does not match their physical ages) from the oncoming SharkNado. They throw in some obligatory family drama to be the emotional conflict, but that is all, clearly, secondary to the SharkNado. I say that because they blaze right through the lines that are there to give us some sort of emotional attachment to the characters. The creators of SharkNado were clearly trying to make it Jawsesque with the main charachters desire to help his family from the imminent danger. But, this just does not even come close to that level of emotion. This movie is really all about the SharkNado. It does not waste any time. It pretty much starts out with the storm of Sharks and everyone running from the storm of sharks. This continues for two hours.
As for the acting...there is none. This is just people strait up reciting lines, sometimes screaming them with a little bit of fear--but not SharkNado level fear. It's more like, "What is this paper-cut gets infected," type fear. It's almost like the director kept saying, "Once more with absolutely no feeling." And that's it. Lines like:
"We're gonna need a bigger chopper!"
"It must be that time of the month,"
"I'm not a stripper!"
"You have a son, too?'
"My mom always said Hollywood would kill me."
Are all delivered with the same lack of acting.
As for the camera work, this movie loves extreme close ups. And, for the most part, stuff is in frame. I feel like, "We'll fix it in post," was said a lot while making this movie.
Now, I can't talk about a movie called SharkNado, and not talk about the special effects. Pretty much everything besides the actors and the buildings are so obviously CGI. I don't think there is any way to make a SharkNado look real, though.
I think it is safe to say that anything and everything that is done in this film is done poorly. This is absolutely not a well made movie--but I had so much fun watching it. The ending is my favorite. At the climax of the movie, Nova, (played by Cassie Scerbo, aka the girl from Make it or Break it), is in a helicopter with Matt, Fin's son, and they are throwing bombs into the SharkNado (yeah, that's how you dissipate a SharkNado, because as a character--who doesn't make it--explains, a tornado happens when hot air meets cold air), a Shark latches on to the helicopter, Nova tries to fight it off and she falls into the mouth of a shark. R.I.P. girl, R.I.P. Then, after some more SharkNado fighting, a shark comes right at Fin's daughter. He grabs a chainsaw and charges the sahark. He charges all the way into the mouth of the shark and is swallowed. R.I.P. Fin. But wait! He saws his way out of the belly of the shark! Yes. Yes, he does. And just when you think it has reached a level of ridiculous nothing else can top, he pulls Nova out of the shark with him! Yes. Yes, he does. What are the odds that the same shark eats them? Quick, get me a calculator! And thank goodness that shark is not too keen on chewing! Um...yeah. So, that's SharkNado.
The Bottom Line: This is probably the worst movie SyFy has ever made. There is nothing well done about it. But if you want to laugh your ass off, then it is two hours worth of laughs. I had so much fun watching this movie...I just...I'll probably watch it again. Also, it blew up twitter. I think everyone on twitter was watching and tweeting about it. I feel like this is something that is going to be discussed for a while--how such a bad movie go such high ratings and such a twitter response. So, maybe SyFy is crazy for making SharkNado, but they also might have just been geniuses for making SharkNado. I think future film majors will study this phenomena. I really do.
Some fun links about SharkNado:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeednews/the-7-bestworst-lines-of-sharknado
http://www.buzzfeed.com/adambvary/sharknado-director-anthony-c-ferrante
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